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WhileIBreatheIHope

Ask me anything   Hi, I am Beki. (: Over all I try to live my life the best way possible. I live to accomplish my dreams and goals in life with a positive mind and with the help of my family and friends supporting me. I am just here to blog about what is on my mind, what interest me & grabs my attention. Feel free to follow back! Enjoy!(:<3

I am upset right now. Why, why, WHY did my stupid period have to come 4 days before Ricardo gets here! I texted him almost crying and then he called me. All I could do while talking to him is cover myself entirely with my bed sheets and feel mad and upset. He said to calm down but I couldn’t. I want to have at least a night alone with him. And because it’s been 5 months since the last time! What bought a smile to my face is how he said out of no where to me, “W-wait are you using me for sex? I-is that all you want me for? :o” haha he cracked me up. After that I just had a big cheesy smile. I don’t know how he does it. All we can hope for is that my period is gone by Monday, hopefully! If not he said its okay cause at least we’ll be spending time with each other. I love him! Just 4 more days and I’ll get to go pick him up Monday morning at the airport, i any wait!
I love how he tells me every time we talk, “I want to kiss you do bad babe! If I kiss you when I get there will you kiss me back?” and I always try to ruin the moment by saying “Was that suppose to be a rhetorical question?” haha I can’t wait

— 1 year ago
#personal  #thought  #journal  #life  #period  #girl problems  #ldr  #long distance relationship  #kansas  #arizona  #ldb 
Sooooooo

It sucks when you want to cuddle and do other things but not being able to because your boyfriend lives 1,240 miles away -__-
Some day I won’t have to go through this!

— 2 years ago with 1 note
#personal  #sucks  #cuddle  #lonely nights  #sexy time  #ldr  #ldb  #thought  #journal 
Well….

It’s been two days in a row that I’ve been able to have a conversation with my babe. It’s made me jelly(: I know though that I won’t be able to speak to him this weekend because he is going to be working 14 hour shift and I am going to be working my usual 8 hours :( its okay. Why? Because we are going to have a Skype date next week and I am ubberly excited about it! I told him I want to look extra cute just for him even though our date will be cyberly. He thought that was cute(:
We are going to get to talk about when he is coming over here during summer and when am I gonna go over there. That shall be exciting because I’ll get to put a date I can look forward to!
One thing I’ve learned since Ricardo and I started this LDR is that it’s the little things that matter in life and that make a change in your life

— 2 years ago with 2 notes
#LDR  #long distance love  #long distance relationship  #personal  #journal  #thought  #LDB  #love  #its the little things  #happy 
FINALLY..

I got to have a conversation with Ricardo. I think he noticed that I have been feeling upset lately, so he started right away with,”Hey babe, how are you? What have you’ve been up to this time that we haven’t been really talking?” Just him saying that made me feel a whole lot better. I got to tell him how upset I’ve been lately and how I haven’t been feeling happy for a while even before I went to Kansas. Like always he was there to calm me down. BUT he confused me a bit. He says that I should stay in Arizona until I finish my Bachelors and then move to Kansas but every time we talk about how hard it is to be living under my parents roof he says to just wait a year. What does he mean by that? A year to move out to an apartment or with him? I don’t know something to think and bring up in a conversation

Oh and I have decided that I am going to tell my dad about him. My mom has known about Ricardo since I was 12 and my dad has met him once but never really thought anything about it apart from “he is just a friend that she met at Mexico”. My dad told me about two weeks ago that he wants to know more about my life and wants to get closer to me so I am going to tell him about Ricardo so he’ll know that I want them same. Ricardo is a bit scared because he doesn’t want it to back fire at me but I think it wont. I am trying to keep positive about this. (:

— 2 years ago
#ldr  #long distance love  #long distance relationship  #love  #distance  #personal  #journal  #thought  #happy  #LDB 
Today was one of the most upsetting days I have ever had. My day started off good but then it went down hill when my mom gave me the worse news someone can tell you. She told me that my grandfather has Alzheimer&#8217;s. These news hurt me not only  because its my grandfather but because my grandfather means the world to me! He is the man that I admire the most in this world. As soon as my mom left my room I started crying and I cried the whole 20 minutes it takes me to get to school and as well when I was driving back home from school.
All I could think about was how am I going to live knowing that one day my grandfather will forget who I am. The thought of it just scares me, its even worse than a scary movie. Knowing that he will begin loosing his memory in 15 month makes me want to stop time or at least make it go slower so it those 15 month won&#8217;t come. I just want this amazing man to be there to walk me down the aisle when I get married. He is the only man that I want to hand me over to my future husband (Ricardo)
This is where I sent this text message to Ricardo. I told him that it had been a terrible day and he called me right away. I told him the news and he told me to calm down not to over think the situation. Not to show that I am sad around my grandfather because that will just make my grandfather feel bad. He told me to have hope and that when he does start forgetting things that to be there for my grandfather and even help him exercise his brain by showing him things he can memorize. 
Ricardo always knows what to say and how to say it so I can calm down. I really do not know what I would do without him. These are the things that make me be 100% sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I can&#8217;t show him in person or tell him in person how much I appreciate so I have to do small things from afar.
These news about my grandfather has really taught me that me that there is never enough time to demonstrate how much you love and appreciate someone. So you have to take advantage of the time that you do have. This is why I will never regret getting my tattoo with the saying &#8220;Time waits for no one.&#8221;
This time I am going to take advantage of it and demonstrate how much I love my grandfather and everyone else in my life. Even though I am miles away from Ricardo I am going to find even more little things to demonstrate how much I love him and appreciate him. 

Today was one of the most upsetting days I have ever had. My day started off good but then it went down hill when my mom gave me the worse news someone can tell you. She told me that my grandfather has Alzheimer’s. These news hurt me not only  because its my grandfather but because my grandfather means the world to me! He is the man that I admire the most in this world. As soon as my mom left my room I started crying and I cried the whole 20 minutes it takes me to get to school and as well when I was driving back home from school.

All I could think about was how am I going to live knowing that one day my grandfather will forget who I am. The thought of it just scares me, its even worse than a scary movie. Knowing that he will begin loosing his memory in 15 month makes me want to stop time or at least make it go slower so it those 15 month won’t come. I just want this amazing man to be there to walk me down the aisle when I get married. He is the only man that I want to hand me over to my future husband (Ricardo)

This is where I sent this text message to Ricardo. I told him that it had been a terrible day and he called me right away. I told him the news and he told me to calm down not to over think the situation. Not to show that I am sad around my grandfather because that will just make my grandfather feel bad. He told me to have hope and that when he does start forgetting things that to be there for my grandfather and even help him exercise his brain by showing him things he can memorize. 

Ricardo always knows what to say and how to say it so I can calm down. I really do not know what I would do without him. These are the things that make me be 100% sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I can’t show him in person or tell him in person how much I appreciate so I have to do small things from afar.

These news about my grandfather has really taught me that me that there is never enough time to demonstrate how much you love and appreciate someone. So you have to take advantage of the time that you do have. This is why I will never regret getting my tattoo with the saying “Time waits for no one.”

This time I am going to take advantage of it and demonstrate how much I love my grandfather and everyone else in my life. Even though I am miles away from Ricardo I am going to find even more little things to demonstrate how much I love him and appreciate him. 

— 2 years ago
#Alzheimer's  #Grandfather  #news  #boyfriend  #time waits for no one  #LDR  #long distance love  #long distance relationship  #love  #family  #time  #appreciate  #personal  #journal  #thought 
His Birthday

His birthday is on May 21st and I want to be with him on his special day, but there’s something stopping me. Money! I’ve been broke ever since I got back from seeing him and because I’ve had to pay some couple of things. I want to see him soon but I don’t know when that will happen. I wish we lived closer. I know I won’t be able to see him for awhile because I’ll be volunteering at the hospital for the whole summer. Hopefully he comes during summer and spends some time over here. I want him to meet my dad, and I want to tell my dad about him but I am too scared! The life of a girl in an LDR!

— 2 years ago
#long distance relationship  #long distance love  #problems  #wanting to see him  #money  #personal  #thought  #journal 
Just when…

I have no motivation I get a phone call from him. Its amazing how just by hearing his voice I get hyped up and motivated about something. He is one of the reasons why I keep on going on accomplishing my goals because he brings me back up when I am falling which not many can do.

My mom still wonders why I want to be with him. Yeah he did some really shitty things in his past and was in and out of juvenile and did drugs but you know what instead of still heading on that bad path he preferred to take a right turn. A boy that hated school became a man that loves school. She still doesn’t realizes that yet. When that day comes and she sees that we have a big house (because we both know how we want our house to look), we are both successful and have amazing kids she’ll realized why I never let go of him.

I love him<3

— 2 years ago with 2 notes
#personal  #journal  #thought  #motivation  #goals  #love  #long distance  #relationship